Guys, I have to be honest. I hate the phrase “get your body back”. Specifically I hate this phrase when used to describe what postpartum women’s apparent goal is supposed to be. And I’ve even said it before! More than words, it’s been a way of thinking. Getting “back” to a certain weight. Getting “back” to a certain feeling. And it’s usually motivational, right? Like, rah rah, lets all get our bodies back! And I’m not coming at this from the viewpoint of someone who is super thin and only has to lose that last 5lbs. Haha no…this girl gained a full 40lbs being pregnant (technically 39 but who’s counting? Oh yeah, I am). So clearly there’s work that needs to be done.
But the term “get back” implies that you lost something. Or that something was stolen from you. Either way, it implies we’re somehow lacking something. But when I look at my little boy, I don’t think I’ve lost anything. I may have gained weight but I gained so much more than that. And I think I’m just tired of a society that makes us feel like in having a baby we’ve somehow lost something important. This is how I feel about that.
So in solidarity, let’s give up shitty terms that make us feel bad about ourselves. Be happy, be healthy, be well. Rock that belly, or stretch marks, or whatever else you might try and hide about your bod. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to get in shape, and I think that’s an awesome goal I’m working on myself; but lets not lose sight of the fact that our bodies did something amazing and will never actually be the same. And that’s pretty cool.
…is you never talk about Mommy Club. More specifically, you never talk about HOW your own personal mommy club is running, unless you’re prepared to fight to the death. Don’t believe me? Here, I’ll prove it.
Vaccinations. Anti-vaxxers. Breastfeeding. Public breast feeding. Formula. Co-sleeping. Bed sharing. Sleep training. C-sections. All natural births. Epidurals. Screen time.
Feeling anything yet? Any passions rising or fire in your belly? Feeling like there are some “right” and “wrong” options on that list?
I know. I do too. I have BIG opinions about things. But when did we as women become so obsessed with being right that we stopped caring about each other as people? Why do we demonize each other for the sake of proving how much we know?
It makes me really sad. It used to make me angry, but I think I went through a few of the stags of grief after reading one too many comment sections and just hit sad.
I don’t know if there’s a way to fix our attitudes toward each other. I don’t want to give a big “rah rah, we can be the change” speech because we all know that already. But this is my pledge: I won’t add to the problem. I promise to value people over their choices, even if I don’t always agree. On mom stuff, but also in life. Aren’t people what matter?
Well here we are again. It seems every few months my blogging lags, and then I end up writing a “mea culpa!” post, and then I keep up with it for a while and then it sort of cycles around again. This time I’ve been thinking a lot about this blog and what its purpose is as my little corner of the internet. I love that it’s been different things to me at different times, a few years ago life was easy breezy, and I think my content reflected that. Crafts, beach days, brunches – easy!
But to be honest, that’s not really my life anymore. Married, living in the city with a baby, it’s quite different in the best way. And really, that’s what I feel like writing about these days. Lately my heart has been hurting with everything going on in the world – the world where I’m working hard to be a wife and mom and raise my son.
And guys – being a mom is hard! Also the internet is mean and “mommy wars” are real. Especially in the form of “helpful advice” in mommy group forums and nobodies you forgot you were friends with who feel like commenting on your stuff.
Anyway, I think what I’m trying to say is I want to create a place where we can breathe together. Where we can talk about fun things like how cute chubby babies are, and how when they smile at you your heart melts. But also a place where we can talk about tougher things like mom’s mental health when you’re not getting any good sleep, and how after a baby you sort of have to find yourself again and learn to be comfortable in your own (stretch-marked) skin. And also how the 6-weeks after having a baby you can have sex again rule is a mother%*#&!*& lie. I mean come on…can I get an amen??
So that’s what I’m planning to write about these days. We’ll see where it all goes, but I’m excited. As someone who loves writing, I’ve done precious little of it the past few months but I think that’s about to change.
Since Alamo Square Park is currently under construction, we’ve been venturing out a bit and Duboce Park is our new favorite! Theres a little hill where we can see the dog park and watch the trains go by. It’s perfect to spread a blanket and hang out for an hour or the whole afternoon.
Can you believe the holidays are almost here?! I mean Halloween is in 2 weeks and then, the heavy hitters are here. Thanksgiving. Christmas. New Years. Holiday cooking. Decorating. And…traveling.
Cue the “dun dun dunnnn…”. Guys, traveling with a baby can be tough. BUT, it doesn’t have to be a nightmare! I’ve taken Will on two flights so far, and we’re planning our third for Thanksgiving. I learned from each of our previous trip and at the risk of jinxing it…I think I’ve got it pretty figured out.
Here are my flying with baby essentials:
Extra pair of clothes
Extra top for mom
Clean swaddle blanket
Skip Hop with plenty of extra diapers
Whole pack of wipes
Extra pacifiers on clips